From a Dad’s perspective..

So, a few of our blog followers have asked what the travels have been like from my point of view, and I have to be honest, I am quite pleased they have. 

Firstly, the reason we haven’t all made a blog appearance isn’t because we are being silenced or just out on a sun bed relaxing (I wish sometimes). It’s because the blog has become Sharon’s outlet. After all the years she’s spent reeling off emails to schools, teachers and other professionals involved in the kid’s education and welfare, it’s been really nice for her to be able to write for such an enjoyable reason. She has been putting a huge amount of time and love into it, with the idea that we can get it printed when we return and have the most amazing written keepsake for this incredible journey for our family. Now I’m happy I’ll have a featured chapter too, unless it doesn’t make the final cut!

“Anyone can travel the world with their kids”. 

Since we’ve been travelling, I have a made the same comment on a couple of occasions and instantly realised that it could cause offence or seem ignorant. The times I have blurted this out has been meant with encouragement, but on reflection it does reinforce the massive luxury and privilege we are giving ourselves and I do understand this is just not possible for most people. While Sharon covered the emotional aspect of why we got to this point in one of her earlier blogs, I thought I’d cover all the other (practical) aspects of how we got here. 

First and foremost - money. We had previously sectioned off a piece of our land and sold it as a plot for a single dwelling. This was meant as the answer to finishing off our never-ending house refurb and to seek alternatives to the kids’ education. As the latter didn’t work out how we wanted it to for the older girls, we had money in the pot which worked especially well for us and our impulse decision making at that point. I’ll worry about the house refurb again when we get home - I mean, who buys a boarded up care home as a project with four kids.. the impulse decision making always has a rocky side to it!

Secondly – work. For me, taking this time away has meant taking an unpaid sabbatical from my business and leaving a very understanding business partner, and employees, holding the fort. After working in sync for so many years, it has been a big ask. It’s also been a really busy and pretty hideous point in our build. They all know who they are, and I know they are all too busy to be reading this, but thank you.

House and Pets. Owning a house mid-refurb and four dogs, ten chickens and a tortoise also added a huge consideration. Thankfully, we have an incredible dog sitter who looks after the dogs for us on our holidays. She is also who introduced us to our newest dog that we re-homed earlier this year, and so already had a great relationship with him from a puppy. She was actually the first person we spoke to, even before my business partner, to make sure the dogs and animals would all be looked after with minimum disruption to their lives. Plus, she doesn’t mind living in a bit of a building site as a home, which is lucky! We have left them all in the very best hands possible - “Auntie” Shelagh is so much more than a dog sitter now.

Schools. Phoebe had already been home educating for a year and although she has done amazingly well it was becoming difficult. For Floss it was a no brainer to take her out, she deserves a lot better than what she was experiencing. We were adamant to give them both a break from the education system that was seriously damaging them as individuals. Poppy on the other hand! She burst into tears when we told her about the travelling plans – leaving school and all of her friends? She loves her life, and with football training and matches at the weekend on top – why would she want to leave? That was another discussion to have prior to leaving as well – as coach to her team, I’ve also left a very understanding coaching partner and a great team behind. Thankfully, after offering Poppy and Fin a place at a local private school, the very understanding Headmaster agreed to defer their place until the following academic year, appreciating the value that travel would give to their lives. It’s a comfort to know we have a plan for them upon our return.

Family. Obviously, this is a huge consideration that really pulls at the heart. Both our parents have had big operations while we’ve been away and an 80th birthday celebration we have missed. Plus, all the cousins’ interactions that mean so much at this age. There’s definitely nothing that makes anything easier about missing family. Regular face time has certainly helped and they have all been so supportive and encouraging even when we have had our doubts! It’s been hard not to be around for support them when they could have done with us.

A willing partner. Thankfully, Sharon and I are on the same page about most things. When I first mentioned travelling as an option, she definitely thought I was mad. I tend to be the one happier to think outside the box and push outside of our comfort zones. I do have habit of suggesting things and instantly thinking “maybe I shouldn’t have made it sound so easy” when its really not! But she’s always there with me and we do most things with a smile on our faces if we’re together.

At this point it’s that I realise the decision we have made came with all these considerations and the list does go on. It was a decision that we didn’t imagine ourselves making and one that came at the end of a long and exhausting period in our lives. All of those initial problems and considerations could have quite easily stopped us from taking this leap but I am so glad they didn’t as I will be eternally happy we have taken this jump!

Sharon and I still constantly battle with our heads and hearts, and it really is a struggle at times if we are doing the right thing, giving thought to all four of the kids and their very different and eclectic personality types! Do we need to be concerned about Fin’s reading and writing when he’s fished off a reef in Fiji, or Poppy’s football skills when she’s trekked through the Amazon Rainforest and slept there overnight in a hammock, or Florence’s maths when she’s absolutely nailed surfing on Ipanema beach, or Phoebe’s GCSE curriculum when she’s swam with Manta Rays in the Indian ocean, and when they have all been seeing real life in all corners of the globe? The answer is probably (hopefully) not!

So, moving on, everyone has hopefully read the blog and has a detailed insight into our life as a world schooling family - if you haven’t stop reading this and go back to the beginning! I will take you through some of the more boring elements (“keep the reader engaged Dan”). When I say boring, I really mean from a Dad’s point of view.

Let’s not beat around the bush – the main and constant worry brings me back round, again, to – MONEY!

It costs a lot to get from place to place and stay in satisfactory accommodation that accommodates six – four of whom don’t have a concept of money! (This is a big part of the world schooling curriculum we hope to complete before we return). I have spent numerous hours on Skyscanner, Trip, Booking.com, searching and breaking down every cost to try and get the best deal.  We use Skyscanner as a search engine then go direct to the cheapest or most suitable airline, we have saved a lot of money this way, along with mid week and odd flight times. We have also now stopped being afraid to add a stop it does sound like a mission but sometimes can make a real difference in the price and not the biggest difference in travel time. We now fondly look back at the sweating Home Alone style race across an airport terminal!

Money is a constant concern and although we set a budget it has been extremely hard to stick to. The opportunities we want give our children quite often come with a cost, from the big things like Macchu Picchu and Christ the Redeemer, to the small things like surf schools in Rio and Austrialia. Everything costs money, having a constant eye on the finances is a crucial part of travel and it has mentally been quite draining, thousands of internet searches and my new best friend the currency conversion App. Balancing the level of the experience against the cost has been a real challenge. For example, we couldn’t justify the $600+ tickets for a day at Universal Studios in California, weighed up against the $90 family annual entrance ticket that gave us over three weeks of exploring several National Parks. We are coming back with a big long list of “next time”. We have not made it easy for ourselves, there are certainly more efficient ways to world school, but we would have to slow it right down and given we are on a time limit due to work commitments and “real life”, this is unfortunately just not possible. 

Which brings me onto, the great thing about travelling is it has opened our eyes to that misunderstood phrase, “real life”. What the hell is it? I have spent most of my adult life working to provide a house, a garden and a car that fits our ever-growing family. To provide a lifestyle of nice things and nice holidays whilst trying desperately to have a good work-life balance. In more recent years.. be healthy in body and in mind, have happy confident children who enjoy education “whoa, whoa, whoa”. I could literally go on for hours and the truth is no matter how hard Sharon and I try, or anyone for that matter, this is not possible. Life is not a simple game and just when you think you have one bit sussed, another bit collapses in front of your eyes. So my quest to find perfection in life is futile, I am finally beginning to realise the perfection is the imperfection. If everything was perfect the world would be a pretty uninteresting place. 

I’m getting philosophical so lets move on..

The logistical elements of packing for four children and most of the time a wife (sorry Sharon but it is true). Considering we had only ever holidayed in Europe and in the early years that was in a car so we could take as much as possible to make us feel comfortable - pillows, games, toys, teddies, and even our much-loved Emma Bridgewater mugs, God I miss them! It was a daunting task packing in the first place. I hadn’t even considered that the first thing the kids would do arriving anywhere is grab their bag unzip it and throw every item around the Airbnb, hostel or hotel room. Now some parents would say, “it’s your problem kids, we are leaving in a few days and you have to pack it all back up”..  We did and still do say that, along with please don’t just empty your stuff everywhere, try and keep your room tidy, amongst other choice words! But lo and behold, pack up day comes, my heart rate is up to a steady jogging pace and I find myself picking up, folding, squashing and cramming it all back in. Once I have finally finished this process, Sharon will usually swan back in the room with a clean washing bag the size of God knows what, a bag of washing, oh and another bag of washing (the whites..) This process is fine once or twice a year but to date on our travels we have packed 26 times and unpacked 27. Please don’t get me wrong this a is nice problem to have, but will they ever learn?! 

For those of you who know us well know that we have a lovely house (still with a lot to do) but it’s big and spacious, the girls each with their own bathroom, and we are very lucky to have room to give each other space. This is a BIG difference to the reality of our travels. Call me naive, but I had not truly given much thought to the fact we were going to be together nearly every minute of every day for around eight months, shared rooms, shared dorms, shared beds, shared bathrooms… I had of course wanted for us all to be together enjoying this experience and every incredible thing that comes with that, but the very real adjustment of just being together constantly, I hadn’t given a thought! Needless to say, this has come with enormous challenges for all of us at different times. In the first weeks we were certainly not about to tell any of them to go off and play, take a walk find something to do, this would have been a good way to lose them for sure. But wanting five minutes for Sharon and I to adjust to our new surroundings was nearly impossible with all of their individual needs. That could have been Phoebe’s overwhelm to a new place, tiredness from the travel day for Florence, Poppy having the worst travel sickness and Fin just a coiled spring riding around the luggage carousel!! Anyone with children will know that putting them first is just part of being a parent and this means Sharon and I have really put our own needs to one side for the duration of the travels so far.

It sounds ridiculous but removing the kids from school, friends, home and let’s not forget the dogs, was never going to come guilt free for us. We continually tell ourselves this is the right thing to do, they will thank us one day, but when you’re faced with the reality of each child having a mini breakdown about missing friends, home, food, dogs, and even school occasionally, its bloody tough. This is another uncomfortable feeling that was unexpected, giving as much as we are but feeling that we are taking so much away, mind blown! That side of things has improved as time has gone on but every day there are still disagreements, arguments about phones and general sibling squabbling constantly. 

I could and would love to go on, but I am not sure that is what people want me to waffle on about. It has been great sharing my little introduction and hopefully I won’t get banned from giving a you a bit more information on the less amazing side of our travels. 

I leave you with a Poem that I have lived by since Sharon introduced it to me over 15 years ago (although let’s change “men” to every gender). Don’t give yourself reasons not to live your best life!

All men dream, but not equally. 

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds,

wake to in the day to find that it was vanity:

but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,

for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible. 

T.E Laurence